Interesting One Liners

 

Ø Join army, see the world, meet interesting people and kill them.

 

Ø Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'

 

Ø I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

 

Ø Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

 

Ø The road to success is always under construction.

 

Ø Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.

 

Ø When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

Ø Born free; taxed to death.

 

Ø Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.

 

Ø Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

 

Ø Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.

 

Ø I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

 

Ø A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and    the   blinking red light.

 

Ø The hardest part of skating is the ice.

 

Ø The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, was a genius.

 

Ø The trouble with being punctual is that there's no one present there to appreciate it.

 

Ø If you tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll     believe you. But if you tell him that a park bench has just been painted, he will touch it to be sure.

 

Ø If you can't convince them, confuse them.

 

Ø It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

 

Ø I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

Ø Someday is not a day of the week

 

Ø When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.